C is for clowns

Out of everything I hate on this planet (and trust me, that list is legion) there is one thing I hate above everything else. That thing is clowns.

Clowns are pure evil. The garish makeup, the giant shoes, the multicolour wigs are all a sham into tricking you into believing that clowns are jolly creatures whose purpose is to entertain and make little children smile.

Bull. Shit.

That is just a cover. Clowns are psychopathic serial killers who will lull you into a false sense of complacency with their balloon animals and pratfalls so the moment your guard is down, they can drag you off to the nearest sewer or alternate dimension and spend the next 5 days scaring you to death. Don't fall for it...keep your guard up and your distance long, because those red-nosed bastards are all devious.

Need proof of the evil?

Serial killer John Gacy, used to perform as a clown at kid's parties. Nuff said.

I swear my insomnia started because of the clown doll from Poltergeist and caused me to get rid of every doll I owned because that fucking satiny asshat had me convinced all dolls came alive at night and were hiding under my bed, waiting to drag me off to some ghost-dimension where I'd spend eternity trapped inside someone's  tv

The Grand Poobah of Evil clowns, Pennywise from It. Thank you Stephen King, for turning my paranoia into a full-fledged phobia. I also avoid sewers, old houses, overgrown empty lots and Chinese restaurants, thanks to your sick brilliance

 There are not enough flaming middle fingers in the universe to express my hatred of clowns, but for argument's sake, the earn a solid 5 on the Hate-O-meter