Tuesday, 16 April 2013

N is for nature

I have a love/hate relationship with nature. On one hand, nature is beautiful and awe-inspiring and zen and glorious. I am lucky enough to live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet..Vancouver Island, BC. There is so much natural awesome here, I can't even describe it...we have the ocean, mountains, forests, rivers and lakes, the temperature is fairly mild year-round and in 10 minutes you can go from town to the middle of untouched nowhere.

View from the top of Mt Washington July 2011. Did I mention this is a 20 minute drive from my house?

Chesterman Beach near Tofino, my favourite place on Vancouver Island. Probably my favourite place in the world

Chesterman Beach again. I could watch the waves crash into the rocks and explore the tidepools there forever
 There is a price to be paid for all this fabulous nature though. Ankle-breaking rocks to trip over, stabby branches that lie in wait that jump out and attempt to poke your eye out, scratchy sand that makes it's way into every orifice...and then there's the wildlife.

Bears are nature's grumpy garbage cans. They will eat anything, including your arm, if you're lucky...your face if you aren't
Killer whales that live in pods are fine...transient killer whales are assholes. There was one up in Campbell River that was hanging out in the marina, wrecking people's boats. Unfortunately, the local native band decided this whale was the reincarnation of a dead chief and got a court injunction to prevent anyone from harming the whale. Can't remember how this all turned out, but I do know there were several irate fishermen with damaged boats who would have loved to make whale jerky out of that little bastard
Eagles are majestic. Until you come around a blind corner and you nearly have heart failure and drive into the ditch to avoid the one that comes thisclose to smashing through your car windshield. Also, eagles are huge as I found out that day...it's wingspan was wider than my windshield
Canadian geese. They honk endlessly and shit profusely. Need I say more?
Nature gets one flaming middle finger on the Hate-O-Meter, due to the hatred being mostly balanced by the love


  1. I love natural and all the pokey branches and creepy crawlies in the world wouldn't put my off either.

  2. I like to look at nature, but from the comfort of a luxuriously appointed holiday house.

  3. Nature is a beautiful thing, but would be even more beautiful without creepy crawlies!

  4. I love that nature got a one "due to the hatred being mostly balanced by the love," which I think is a pretty fair score.

    Also, I'm quite envious because it was my plan, that Spawn and I would end up in your part of the world. (stupid illness) Still, maybe one day. :)

  5. This totally made me think of Chunk in movie Goonies when he says: " I love the dark. But I hate nature! I HATE nature!"

  6. What, no mosquitoes? Because honest to god, I'm okay with assholes whales and eagles the size of my house, but mosquitoes? Those little fuckers must die.

  7. I love nature - hate the mosquito (I think that it's the Arkansas state bird). I also hate poison ivy - I'm super allergic and once my neighbor put a bunch in her burn pile and tried to kill me. She wasn't even arrested. All of that to say that I agree with your flaming finger assessment.

  8. I'm so jealous!! I live in NJ. Not so bountiful in the nature department. But, when I can, I do escape to go on a most glorious hike. :0)


    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

  9. Those pictures are gorgeous! They gave me a little bit of Zen :)

    I can't believe an eagle's wingspan is that big. I've never seen one up close. I love the picture you included of them.

    And I know it isn't funny to the fishermen, but the killer whale being an asshole line cracked me up :)

  10. When I started reading I was thinking another disagree, but then I hit the word ankle and remembered, so yes one flaming finger will do.

    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com