Saturday 20 April 2013

Running:

I don't run. Not ever. I'm a smoker, so I'd likely get about 20 feet before collapsing in a wheeze-induced coma and even thinking about running hurts my charred lungs. Two of my co-workers are planning on running in a half-marathon and I think their both insane for it because unless you're being chased by zombies or a psychopath wielding a machete, why would you?

When my co-workers run their half-marathon I will totally be there to cheer them on and plan to bring signs like these to show my support
My motto is "Why run when you can walk? Or stroll leisurely?" If I ran, I'd miss all the details, like how the daffodils are blooming, the kids playing basketball and laughing at the park, and how people should really remember to close their blinds before wandering around their living room with no pants on. Also, when you run, the chances of something like this happening are much higher
When was the last time you saw a collision of walkers? That's right, never
Runners may argue that walking is boring and you don't get that runner's high or adrenaline rush from walking. To them I say two words: Monty Python




Running earns 3 flaming middle fingers on the Hate-O-Meter. Because Silly Walking is a way more exciting alternative


















12 comments:

  1. Why run when you can walk. And why walk when you can drive. God gave us cars for a reason, you know!

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  2. I agree totally, I hate running and would never choose to run, I'm not built for running! My hubby loves running, he happily goes for a run at the weekend and has run a couple of marathons back home in the UK. Walking and car is good enough for me!

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  3. The two mahoosive appendages that I have before me, are one of the reasons that I don't run. Running with ample bosoms, will only ensure that I receive two black eyes and a concussion, so what's the point? :)

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  4. Agreed. Just today I hopscotched down the passage. My daughters think I'm a maniac.

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  5. I only run if chased and then frankly I would be caught pretty quickly. I suck at running.

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  6. I think our view of running can be shared by this picture. I love the Worst. Parade. Ever. sign. You should totally have that for your friends.

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  7. Some people say running gives them time to be alone with their thoughts. Who needs to run when you can sit comfortably at your desk all day procrastinating with your thoughts.

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  8. Just reading this made me tired. You know all the runners are going to be laughing their asses off at us as we're being eaten by zombies. Jerks. We just have to be able to out run one guy - I'm screwed.

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  9. I confess, I do love to run. I have found people are either runners, or they are not. No in between! My one friend hates to run, but always wants to convince herself to do it, but I always tell her, if you don't enjoy it, don't do it! There are plenty of other ways to get excercise.

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  10. Afreakinmen. I couldn't agree more. There is nothing I understand less than people who run "for fun"....freaks! Now...I'm off to sit on my couch. :)

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  11. I'm with you on this! I used to get so sick when I had to run in gym class then found out in my 40's that I had some congenital heart condition. I could have died or something and that would have been pretty pissy.

    Yeah, give me a silly walk any day. I'd forgotten all about that Monty Python sketch. Great stuff.

    Arlee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out

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  12. I'm a runner and have been for years, but I don't do it for the fun, that's for sure. If I'm being honest, it's just an easy way for me to stay in shape, that's it. My training sessions are grueling and my legs are sore most of the time. I could just stop eating so damn much, but my love for food runs too deep, so I run.

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