Tuesday, 2 April 2013
B is for Ballet
While I admire the athleticism, grace and beauty of dance, ballet was totally ruined for me about 15 years ago when I went to a performance in Vancouver. Until that point, I assumed ballet was always something classic, like Swan Lake or The Nutcracker, danced by extremely bendy people in pretty costumes. Unfortunately for me, the ballet I saw was some kind of weird, flailing tribal/modern hybrid set to jarring music that featured a lot of gongs. There was no storyline to follow, or maybe there was and I was too distracted by the performers having what looked to be random epileptic seizures, in between the dry-humping and all the stupid gonging. I gave up after about half an hour and attempted to have a nap, but couldn't because did I mention the gonging??? I'm still pissed I will never get back the 2 hours of my life I wasted being visually and auditorily assaulted by Ballet BC and will never attend another ballet performance again because yes, it really was THAT bad.
But it wasn't just that performance that put ballet on my shit list:
Out of 5 flaming middle fingers on the Hate-O-Meter, ballet gets: