Monday, 15 April 2013

M is for math


I would really love to live in a math-free world, but have come to accept the fact (with a large amount of figurative kicking and screaming) that math is a necessity of life.  Like salad and voting, math is one of those things you do because you have to...death from clogged arteries, and living in a state of anarchy or dictatorship would suck, so you eat salad and vote to prevent those things from happening, even though it's not fun and you'd rather spend your time looking for bacon pictures on Pinterest. While an existence without math sounds like an unholy delight, it just ain't happening for reasons of practicality. I am forced to add, subtract and all that other shit, but I don't have to like it. I will unhappily use your stupid numbers, I will grudgingly embrace percentages and I will restrain myself from giving geometry a well-deserved karate-chop in the esophagus

However the minute any letters are introduced to math? All fucking bets are off
The only explanation for algebra

And what about pi? What the hell is pi supposed to even be about?? Is it a string of numbers that holds the answers to all the questions in the universe or did some smartass math freak decide to  come up with a bunch of random numbers and pretend it's important as hell for some convoluted reason, because really, who the fuck is going to check??

My head just exploded


Most days, math just makes me feel like this:

But strippers have to be able to calculate how many more beers the drunk idiot stuffing $5s down her g-string needs to have before he starts stuffing $100s in there because he's too polluted to notice the difference. Damn you math...you're everywhere
Math earns pi flaming middle fingers on the Hate-O-Meter but I don't have enough flaming middle fingers to show pi, plus it's too hard to figure out where a decimal point would go on a finger. So 5 it is






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28 comments:

  1. A Daft Scots Lass15 April 2013 at 00:49

    I'm in 100% agreement.

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  2. Grammy15 April 2013 at 01:16

    Hello... when I happened upon your commentary, I was not aware of your propensity to use such crappy language, but nonetheless read your prose, I happen to be someone who enjoys math and taught it for several years, loving it. Bless your heart! Best regards to you . Ruby

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    1. Maple Syrup Land15 April 2013 at 08:10

      Yep, I use a lot of crappy language.. I tried to clean it up a bit for the challenge, but I seem to be failing miserably :)

      I had a friend who took calculus in high school for fun...she liked the challenge of it, so there's definitely people out there who enjoy math

      Thanks for visiting :)

      Delete
  3. Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous15 April 2013 at 02:22

    I work in finance, but if you'd told me in highschool that I'd be using maths in my career I would have been horrified.

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    1. Maple Syrup Land15 April 2013 at 08:12

      I figured being a hairstylist would allow me to avoid math...nope. Cutting hair is all about angles and there's math in formulating colour...so much for math avoidance lol

      Delete
  4. Jianne Carlo15 April 2013 at 05:13

    Amusing - nice way to start the week!

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  5. Anonymous15 April 2013 at 06:56

    OMG I am dying.... to be honest, I had to force myself to read this because as soon as I saw "math" I got that glassy eyed "f" this feeling that always accompanies that four letter word. I hate math and I suck at it!! I remember I had a math teacher that would make you stand at the board until you completed the problem....do you know how long my seventh grade self stood at the board??? Please, I won't even go on anymore, I could type out my math tragedies all day. I love the pic of the girl at the board though, seriously funny!!

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    1. Maple Syrup Land15 April 2013 at 08:14

      I see math and my eyes automatically roll as far back inside my head as possible. I was good at math until letters were introduced and it was all downhill from there

      Delete
  6. Northern MLT15 April 2013 at 07:07

    There are so many "rules" in math that I usually just make up my own and hope it`s one but I never get the questions right. I learned how to subtract really well from watching my bank account though! haha

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    1. Maple Syrup Land15 April 2013 at 08:14

      Hahaha, my back account is an object lesson in subtraction too

      Delete
  7. Nagzilla15 April 2013 at 08:44

    Yes! I am soooo with you on this one. I am always quick to say it's not a Barbie voiced "Math is hard!" hatred of math, I just don't get it. I can diagram the fuck out of a sentence, but algebra absolutely flummoxes me. I do kinda like Pi, but only because it seems super random and made up.

    I love the "Fuck this shit I'll be a stripper" graphic. It made me LOL.

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    1. Maple Syrup Land16 April 2013 at 08:18

      Ask me to write a persuasive argument essay and I'll knock it out of the park...stick algebra equations in front of me and I got nothing lol

      Delete
  8. Vixn15 April 2013 at 08:55

    I hate Math so much I almost didn't even read this because of the Math-i-ness

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    1. Maple Syrup Land16 April 2013 at 08:19

      I had to write this post with my eyes half-closed, so I didn't have to actually look at the math lol

      Delete
  9. Elise Fallson15 April 2013 at 09:04

    Two things happened in my life that convinced me math wasn't all that bad. The first, I got an awesome algebra tutor in high school that finally explained things to me that made sense and she forced me to do ALL my math homework. The second, was my calculus professor in college. She was awesome and put up with my a** always being in her office during office hours. But after a lot of hammering, it finally sunk in. Funny part is, after all that work, I now couldn't solve a simple calculus problem to save my life. Actually, that's kinda sad. :/ Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, having a good teacher is so damn important, especially in math.

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    1. Maple Syrup Land16 April 2013 at 08:20

      A great teacher can make all the difference...unfortunately all my high school math teachers were dicks, so that probably contributed to the overall hatred lol

      Delete
  10. Unknown15 April 2013 at 10:09

    Damn you maths! Damn you to hell!!
    I have dyscalculia, which is the number form of dyslexia, so I bloody hate maths! Love love love the last picture but I think that my head imploded upon itself, at the mere mention of pi. :)

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    1. Maple Syrup Land16 April 2013 at 08:21

      You have an extra good reason to hate math! And pi makes my head explode too :D

      Delete
  11. katie eggeman15 April 2013 at 17:49

    Math definitely deserves the 5 figure award.
    Katie atBankerchick Scratchings

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  12. Rowena15 April 2013 at 18:07

    The only math we need to know is adding/subtracting and the odd % so why do they bother teaching all that other rubbish? I have no idea what PI is, fully deserving of your 5 x fingers :)

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    1. Maple Syrup Land16 April 2013 at 08:22

      EXACTLY!!! When was the last time someone told you "why yes, I'm a professional algebra-ist"? Never, that's when

      Delete
  13. Valerie15 April 2013 at 20:35

    I always thought I was pretty good at math, until my kid hit the 5th grade and had fractions and shit. Turns out, I know nothing.

    Hugs!

    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

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    1. Maple Syrup Land16 April 2013 at 08:27

      Yep, as soon as Spielberg hit 5th grade, I was of no help with math homework. And what's worse, he went into a French Immersion program starting in 6th grade, so not only could I not understand his math, it's all in french, which I don't speak except for the very basics. Seriously, you should see his french math and science textbooks...I have NO idea how he can understand any of it, I sure don't

      Delete
  14. Kinley Dane16 April 2013 at 20:40

    Five for me, too! Oh, it was the worse subject for me as a kid. When I went back to school to finally finish my Bachelor's degree, one of the last classes I took was Algebra, cause of course I put it off. The first week, I was thinking, 'oh, this isn't all that bad!' and by the third, I was terrified I was not going to graduate! It just does not compute in my brain. (I did pass, and did graduate, but I still have no clue how!)

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  15. Rhonda Albom17 April 2013 at 16:18

    Sorry to say, I love maths. So do my kids, but I think it's because I presented it as puzzles to solve, and I love it. So, I would give it a smile face and no fingers. In saying that, I still laughed, so thanks.

    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com
    Visiting from AtoZ #41

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