Thursday, 4 April 2013

D is for dentist




Raise your hand if you enjoy going to the dentist.

What's that? No one? Yeah, big shock.

Hating the dentist is easy to do because what is there to like about someone to whom you pay obscene amounts of money just to stab you repeatedly in the mouth with sharp and pointy objects? Nothing, that's what. Personally I believe all dentists became dentists because they are closet sadists who are hide their fondness for playing with medically-sanctioned torture devices behind the guise of  good oral hygiene. I will admit I have suggested to Spielberg that he pursue a career in the dental arts, but only because I want  free dental work for when I'm old and falling apart and need good teeth so I don't have to think how decrepit the rest of me looks, and every dentist I know drives an awesome car, so I figure a Mercedes for his loving, supportive mother as a surprise on her birthday one year would not be out of the question.

One of the best reasons to hate dentists is because they are scumbag liars and have a sadistic sense of humour which is not funny at all unless you're the one holding the tooth drill









 Dentists receive 4 flaming middle fingers on the Hate-OMeter. Because they're asshats.











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46 comments:

  1. Kelly4 April 2013 at 02:41

    "You'll be a dentist!
    You have a talent for causin' things pain.
    Son, be a dentist,
    People will pay you to be inhumane!"
    -- Little Shop of Horrors

    The BEST (and most honest) song about a dentist, ever!

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  2. The Librarian Witch4 April 2013 at 03:06

    Ha ha!! Loved this! So so true. I swear my dentist asks me my life story while he's scratching away at my gums with a knife! ouch.

    www.believeinfairystories.blogspot.com

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    1. Maple Syrup Land4 April 2013 at 07:44

      You have to wonder if they honestly forget that you can't talk with a mouthful of their fist or if they're just a bunch of sadistic assholes...the latter gets my vote :D

      Delete
  3. Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous4 April 2013 at 03:24

    You're right, they all are closet sadists. Why can't they just buy a whip and a few paddles like a normal person, hmm?

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    1. Maple Syrup Land4 April 2013 at 07:45

      Exactly! 50 Shades of Gray made it all mainstream, so put down the tooth scraper and come out of the closet/dungeon already

      Delete
  4. Elise Fallson4 April 2013 at 04:13

    My dentist has a screen just over his head that plays a powerpoint presentation of flowers that I'm supposed to look at. Yep that totally makes me forget the sharp pains in my mouth, the blood, the drilling noise, the blurred vision. Flowers. Not convinced? Me neither.

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    1. Maple Syrup Land4 April 2013 at 07:49

      My son's orthodontist has a tv and headphones to distract the kids from the fact he's tightening the wires so tight, they spend the next week feeling like someone punched them in the teeth.

      There is nothing that will distract you when you're being stabbed in the mouth...nothing.

      Delete
  5. Nagzilla4 April 2013 at 06:02

    I'm with you on this one. I have to have nitrous just to sit in the waiting room, I swear to god. Why only four though? I'd have given those effers five flaming fingers of death.

    The photo that said "let me stab them with a prison shank" was totally my favorite.

    Hi from Nagzilla bloghopping A to Z

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    1. Maple Syrup Land4 April 2013 at 07:52

      Seriously, they should just hook you up with nitrous the minute you walk through the door

      Only four middle fingers because I've never had a cavity and I thought if I used 5, my dental karma would repay me with my first cavity ever. It's a tough thing, keeping karma at bay while bitching my face off for a month :D

      Delete
  6. Sandra Tyler4 April 2013 at 08:00

    even just the word dentist makes my teeth ache.

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  7. katie eggeman4 April 2013 at 08:02

    I am with you on this, not only are they sadists, but they charge too much, and dental insurance is a joke. I have a whole mouth full of crowns.
    Katie atBankerchick Scratchings

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  8. Maple Syrup Land4 April 2013 at 08:15

    Neither my ex hubs or I have dental insurance...several years ago we had to take out a loan to pay for extensive dental work for him, which he's still pissed off about because who wants to hand over $8000 to some guy who's going to spend 3 months repeatedly stabbing you in the mouth?

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  9. orneryswife4 April 2013 at 08:49

    My sentiments exactly! Sheesh and to think we pay those guys! :P
    tm

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 07:50

      Not only do we pay them, but we pay them HUGE amounts of money to stab us in the gums...what is wrong with us???

      Delete
  10. SueH4 April 2013 at 11:32

    I dislike the dentist but I HATE having to visit the hygeinist - they have the capacity to make you feel like you really don't care about your own oral upkeep!

    If I had money and I was younger I'd have my teeth veneered - but at 57, I'll settle for just having a full set of teeth anyway, even if there are a number of fillings!

    Just dropped in here, on the A-Z blog-hop :-)

    SueH I refuse to go quietly!

    Twitter - @Librarymaid

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 07:52

      The hygienists are just as bad because they do a lot of the dentist's dirty work and most of the gum-stabbing is thanks to them

      Thanks for dropping by :)

      Delete
  11. Sylvia Ney4 April 2013 at 12:46

    These are too funny! Great way to meet this challenge.

    New follower here. I'm stopping by from the "A to Z" challenge and I look forward to visiting again.

    Sylvia
    http://www.writinginwonderland.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Tui Snider @mentalmosaic4 April 2013 at 14:08

    Funny photos!

    I worked at a dental office for a while, and even the dentist and his staff all hated having dental work done on them!

    Dentists also have the highest suicide rate of all white collar professions.

    Tui Snider
    visiting from the #AtoZchallenge
    Twitter: @mentalmosaic
    Blog: http://www.mentalmosaic.com/blog

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 07:53

      Wow, that's interesting about the suicide rate...I wonder why it's the highest?

      Thanks for visiting :)

      Delete
  13. Unknown4 April 2013 at 17:21

    Unless I'm in so much pain, that I'm banging my head against a brick wall until I draw blood, I will not got to the dentist. They're on a pare with Clowns...and Satan. :)

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 07:55

      I agree...I'd have to be in agony to go near the dentist and they are a subset of evilness :D

      Delete
  14. Who Woulda Thought?4 April 2013 at 19:35

    Impressive...flaming middle fingers.

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 07:56

      Thank you...they seemed completely appropriate with my theme :D

      Delete
  15. Susan Gourley/Kelley4 April 2013 at 19:45

    Poor dentists. I actually like the one I go to now but some of them are not fun.

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 08:01

      Most of the ones I know are very nice people...but what a crappy job they have :)

      Delete
  16. Kinley Dane4 April 2013 at 19:51

    I agree, they must be sadists! Why else would you want to look in people's disgusting mouths? But you are smart to steer Spielberg in that direction!

    I just wish they could put you to sleep for every single procedure and then you wake up and it's all over with. Then they could stretch your mouth open as wide as they want and jab it to their hearts content with no complaints!

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 08:03

      I told Spielberg to do it for the money, but he has zero interest in spending his professional life poking people in the mouth...damn him lol

      I'd demand they knock me out and offer to pay extra for the superior drugs :D

      Delete
  17. Shannon Lawrence5 April 2013 at 00:00

    This cracked me up! I'm lucky to have a very nice, gentle, talented dentist. However, I have been tortured plenty over the years by others. Local anesthesia doesn't work on me, and they used to never believe me. I've felt more invasive dental surgeries than any human should ever have to. But I hate getting stabbed with those damn needles over and over, so I don't say anything until they ask if I'm feeling it (anesthesia slows bleeding, too, so they usually get a clue when the bleeding is excessive...). So yeah, not my favorite either. My torture has all been because I smashed my permanent teeth out in a skateboarding incident as a kid. I have a strong desire to tackle my kids if they so much as look cross-eyed at a skateboard.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 08:05

      Those needles are the worst...jab, jab, jab...why can't they just give you one big shot that numbs your whole mouth and get it over with??

      Delete
  18. Anonymous5 April 2013 at 03:31

    I hold my both hands up ...I love to go to my dentist - do it once a year, when I visit my old hometown Belfast. Have kept my dentist over there, a good reason for going back in visit once per year.
    Excellent man, very light on hands and instrument.
    Funny and enjoyable post .... I want to wish you good luck with the challenge.

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 08:06

      That's great you found a non-sadist dentist...I think they are rare

      Thanks for visiting :)

      Delete
  19. Grover5 April 2013 at 04:14

    This made me laugh (even if I don't think dentists are the work of the devil). I'll be back to see what else you hate.

    Grover
    Inane Ramblings

    ReplyDelete
  20. John Ivory5 April 2013 at 06:13

    I visited here because the blog title said Maple Syrup - one my favourite things! Then I see a post all about dentists - one of my least favourite things!! But I glad I stopped by nonetheless. Maybe you would visit my blog for the A-Z Challenge. I'm at The View From Ivory's Tower

    John

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 08:07

      My whole challenge is devoted to my least favourite things, because there are so many of them lol

      Thanks for visiting :)

      Delete
  21. Rhonda Albom6 April 2013 at 03:11

    Four fingers for the dentist, I would agree with this one.

    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com
    AtoZ #42

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    1. Maple Syrup Land6 April 2013 at 08:09

      I'd give them 5 but my son's orthodontist is awesome, so he upped the whole profession for me...slightly

      Delete
  22. Unknown16 April 2013 at 07:32

    These are all pretty funny! Unfortunately for this site, I actually really enjoy going to my dentist in Des Moines. Thanks again!

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  23. Unknown26 April 2013 at 22:22

    A dentist is an qualified medical professional who specializes in the care of teeth, gums, and mouths. Thanks for this superb post. It will really help a lot of people.
    dentist

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    1. Anonymous14 November 2013 at 02:42

      ha ha lol,
      Mine's an asshole who doesn't take "yeah that's really sensitive, please don't shoot cold air at it ... please .... no...please...arggh" as a response :-)

      Delete
  24. Unknown2 May 2013 at 13:26

    You forgot “makes your gums bleed -- you need a special toothpaste for that. Only $xx.xx!”

    It really feels weird when you’re having your teeth cleaned with all those tubes and scraper is in your mouth, and then your dentist tries to strike up a conversation. And all that bleeding! You’d think he’s pulling at least 3 teeth with the amount of blood I had to spit out.

    Gus Eckles

    ReplyDelete
  25. jeremy16 May 2013 at 00:42

    Great study. Can be an additional info for students as well.

    dentist

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  26. Grindr17 May 2013 at 14:45

    Dentists have the highest suicide rate of any other profession because they have to deal with ass hats like yourself. I bet your teeth are nasty, your breath is nauseating, your gums bleed at the site of a tooth brush and I can only imagine what a nightmare patient you must be. Entitled, whiny little baby.

    ReplyDelete

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