Anyfuckingways, aside from my past coming back to gut-punch me, it's been a hectic week of work and noticing Spielberg is edging closer to becoming a young man and leaving boyhood behind. He's getting a mustache for christssakes and he's going to the fair (the traveling one with all the sketchy rides and the gross, stoned carnies who leer at all the teenage girls and give them free rides on the Zipper, probably to try and get their grubby hands in their pants) today with a bunch of his friends and I have been informed they are meeting girls there. A mustache and hormones...sweet raptor jebus, please put him back to the time before facial hair, puberty and spending an hour in the bathroom doing fuck-knows-what...I have a pretty good idea of the what, ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo, but I choose to banish that knowledge so I don't have to debate if I should buy him a Playboy magazine or let him make due with the Sears catalogue. Seriously, what is the protocol here??? Maybe I should get him to watch my my cousin's comedy sketch about his "bathroom experiences"...not sure if it would serve as a tutorial or a warning though. Probably both.
|Did you know May is Masturbation Month? Does that mean we get free porn and wrist massages?|