Monday, 1 April 2013

A is for Art






Ok, let's clarify: I don't hate all art. Art is one of those things that is really subjective...one man's Monet is another man's black velvet paint-by-numbers portrait of Jesus playing poker with bulldogs dressed in pink tutus. Art is supposed to evoke emotion but some art makes me wonder if the reaction the artist was going for was "WTF is this bullshit supposed to even be???" I think there's a fine line between ironic art and artistic ego run amok. And the latter makes me want to vomit into a plexiglass box, call it installation art and name my piece "This Is Not Art, It's Vomit In A Box, You Pretentious Asshat"

I found a couple of examples of art that pisses me off:


What I see is a spaghetti dinner gone horribly wrong and a total waste of noodles.  Also, Spielberg already spills food all over the floor for free, so why would I want buy something that would make me look like the world's worse housekeeper? Finally, the paranoid me would worry  there is a serial killer hiding under all those noodles and the minute I go to sleep, he'll sneak into my room and strangle me with his noodlely appendages


Wow, I have a similar piece to this at home...except mine is an interactive exhibit and we shut down on Sundays for a half hour for cleaning purposes


I don't even have words for this. No....just no.





I get that art has no rules, but the minute creativity crosses the line into pretentious dreck? I call bullshit.

Out of 5 flaming middle fingers, The Hate-O-Meter says:























31 comments:

  1. Well, I tend to agree with you. Especially about the pretentious so-called Installation Art by Names That Should Be Forgotten. I rather like your Jabba the Hutt one, though :)

    Looking forward to visiting again on the A to Z Challenge!

    Jemima at Jemima's blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm all for art, but pretentious art that tries way too hard to be ironic is lame

      Thank you for visiting!

      Delete
  2. I love the flaming middle fingers! 'Noodlely appendages' made me giggle. I'm 12.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here...I think my brain stop maturing at 12 because fart jokes still crack me up

      Delete
  3. Love this! When I was young and stupid (read: early twenties) I tried to be all pretentious and "get it" when there was weird art. Now I'm more in your camp. I ain't got time for that crap. Gimme something pretty to look at, maybe something to make me think, but some of the stuff out there? Ugh.

    PS- love, love, LOVE your rating scale. Long live the Hate-O-Meter. Even after the challenge is done. Also? "black velvet paint-by-numbers portrait of Jesus playing poker with bulldogs dressed in pink tutus" made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I'm thinking the Hate-O-Meter and the flaming middle fingers will continue after the challenge is over :D

      Thanks!

      Delete
  4. Love it! Can't wait to see the rest of your A - Z posts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and I'm glad you stopped by!

      Delete
  5. LOL! I'm going to LOVE your A-Z posts. I've got a few I could add to your list up there for sure! xD

    A-Z participant blogging from Elise Fallson

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The posts are pretty much writing themselves and I think I have about 10 years of post fodder for this theme lol

      Delete
  6. That noodle monster and that pig head thing are quite scary. looking forward to the insanity that ensues during the rest of April over here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even know what that pig head thing is supposed to be and the noodle thing just disturbs me on several levels

      Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  7. I remember a piece at the Tate Modern, entitled, 'Woman on a period,' which basically showed pictures of a woman...well, on her period. I haven't been back to the Tate since.

    Fantastic and funny start to the A-Z challenge. And I'm pretty sure that my mum has that same picture of the black velvet paint-by-numbers portrait of Jesus playing poker with bulldogs dressed in pink tutus. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok, that would probably put me off art exhibits for the rest of my life!

      I've been looking for black velvet/jesus/poker-playing-bulldog paintings at the 2nd hand stores, but no luck so far

      Delete
  8. must say I agree with you, not every creation is art.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose it's all perception but still, I highly doubt anyone would claim to love the pig-head thing

      Delete
  9. My professor showed us some pictures of his trip to Europe somewhere. There was one of a lovely old tunnel, but there were random chairs and lamps hanging from the ceiling. That's. just. weird. I don't understand that art...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really don't get it either...like the bathroom thing, I already have a bathroom, why would I pay money to go look at someone else's?

      Delete
  10. I remember going to the museum outside of Amsterdam to see the Van Gogh paintings which were wonderful. However around the corner in a room, the room was covered with dirt, big hunks of dirt, corner to corner and it was supposed to portray something -- I have no idea what. I do agree with you. Love the book cover.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could throw all the contents of my fridge all over the kitchen and call it art, but does that make it art, just because I said so, or is really just a big mess? I don't get it

      A friend had posted a pic of that book cover on fb and I promptly stole it for this challenge...it's perfect!

      Delete
  11. *gasping for air* I can see I'm going to have a lot of fun with you. 3 blogs and I love them all! How odd is that? I guess that means I must think you're an awesome person in your own right. :) Uh...not that I'm stalkerish or anything. ;)

    Laura Eno – A Shift in Dimensions

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I could delete the above but it all still applies except for the 3 blog part - got you mixed up with someone else - must have been the excitement over the 3 flaming fingers...

      Delete
    2. No worries, the flaming fingers make me all excited too lol

      Delete
  12. I completely agree. Making something ridiculous then ranting about how it reflects where society has gone wrong and fallen into its own consumeristic selfishness (or whatever they ascribe to it) doesn't make it art. I like good art that evokes an emotion or visceral reaction, but much of it I simply don't get.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I often wonder if the people who create art like that really believe they're some kind of visionary, or if they sit back and laugh at all the idiots who rave about how ironic an installation of broken toilets is

      Delete
  13. Love the theme! And man, I agree. I love art museums, but it is never for the modern, abstract stuff. I can never quite figure out how it gets so highly rated, when a lot of them seem like high school art projects or worse.

    Yeah, that big head thing? Awful.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I will never understand or appreciate abstract art. I've seen some stuff that has left me convinced my son could have fingerpainted the contents of his diaper on the wall when he was a toddler and it would of had more artistic merit

    ReplyDelete
  15. You found some awesomely effed-up pretentious dreck to illustrate your first post in the A-to-Z...I love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, just you wait...I have lots more effed-up pics to go with my equally effed-up posts this month lol

      Delete
  16. My teen had to come into the room to find out why I was laughing so hard. I love your blog, your theme and your sense of humor. I am following.

    And I can relate - when my girls were younger and we went to our first modern art museum and one asked, "Mummy, how is that art?" I replied, "I have no idea."

    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com
    AtoZ #42

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, how I've missed reading your posts...

    btw: someone should revoke my stalking license. I've been HORRIBLE at this lately!

    Oh my GAWD! Those are absolutely horrible! And I'm right there with you on spaghetti man...there's totally a fucking psychotic killer hiding in those noodles, just waiting for some unsuspecting schmuck to take him home so that he can murder the family and make sauce for his pasta hide-out out of their blood.

    I've never been to an art museum. It's probably for the best. I'm not sure that the people around me would appreciate my sense of humor when it comes to bathroom and giant creepy pig art.

    What the hell is up with that bathroom anyway? Why are there electric razors hanging in front of mirrors all over the place? Is that the grooming station for yetis that need to go grocery shopping without being recognized? Is it so that old men can shave their balls without asking for help? The one mirror that's in the right place is covered with fur and a man face! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!

    ...though I'm not going to lie and say that I don't want to touch the pig thing -- because I do. If only to see if it's alive, because HOLY HELL that thing is crazy looking!

    ReplyDelete