Feng Shui, in case you don't know, is "the Chinese art of determining the most propitious design and placement of a grave, building, room, etc, so that the maximum harmony is achieved between the flow of chi of the environment and that of the user, believed to bring good fortune" (ok, let's just stop here a second and wonder why a grave would need feng shui. Dead people no longer need good fortune. Because they are...well....dead). While I'm not a hardcore New Ager (yes, I have an altar to the 4 elements and I meditate once in a blue moon. No, I don't spend any time attempting to clear my chakkras, nor do I dance naked on my balcony during a full moon. I'm open-minded, but prefer to not get arrested for public indecency) I do believe in surrounding yourself and your environment in positive energy. Also, I like to hedge my bets, so if there is any possibility that sticking a plant in the east corner of my apartment will improve the quality of my life? Why the hell not?
The decluttering part went well (clutter is a huge energy blocker, apparently) but I think the positive vibes stemmed less from allowing good energy to flow freely and more from no longer having to look at 6 months worth of mail stacked on top of the microwave and being able to open my closet without being buried alive by an avalache of clothes. I will say I did not even attempt to declutter my son's room, because just looking at the thousand of lego pieces on the floor makes me feel most unharmonious...so I shut his bedroom door and try to think zen thoughts whenever I walk by it.
The real problem arose when I tried to do the bagua (feng shui-speak for the energy map of your home).
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Luckily, my apartment is rectangle-shaped and fairly easily marches up with the bagua. Unfortunately, who ever designed my apartment was obviously not concerned at all about my wisdom energy residing in the bathroom. I'm not sure if this means I should be doing all my critical thinking on the toilet or what. Also, my good fortune center is in my son's room, so I'm a little concerned all my good fortunes are riding on a room full of lego-chaos that smells like feet. And I'm destined to be single the rest of my life because there's a tv in my relationship space, which is a bad thing. I hate to think that my future relationship status is all hinging on the fact that the cable company are assholes who have committed me to being forever alone, just because that's where they installed the cable outlet, but I doubt I can bring myself to call and tell them they are fucking with my feng shui and I demand they come move the outlet so I don't have to die alone.
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Wow, that is some serious feng shui you're doing. The only thing I know is not to place the foot of your bed facing the bedroom doorway because dead people are carried out feet first.
ReplyDeleteIt sounded like a good idea until I realized my apartment is set up in almost anti-feng shui manner. The only thing that works is my creativity zone happens to be where I do all my writing...good thing it wasn't the bathroom or I'd have to start blogging from the toilet
DeleteCrap, the foot of my bed faces the door. Maybe that explains the lack of wealth and prosperity lol
this is cool - I've always wondered what a Feng Shui map looked like - but never enough to actually google one. Now that I'm working on declutter, this comes in very handy! thanks!
ReplyDelete(I wonder if turning Captcha verification off counts as Feng Shuing your blog?)
:-)
Apparently there's another one that's shaped like a compass but this one looked the simplest...yep, the clutter thing is suppose to be a big energy blocker. Gotta wonder if there is some truth to that, because I know I feel much better and more calm when my house isn't a wreck
DeleteHahaha, turning your Captcha off SHOULD be the first rule of blogging feng shui!
I'm thinking that having the wisdom area in your bathroom means that you should be taking a good book in there while you poop. I, myself, am a power dumper, but occasionally, I'll take the time to sit and have a good read in peace and quiet.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I am a power dumper, so there's really no time for toilet multi-tasking. Maybe I should eat less fibre to increase my time on the mug
DeleteHahaha! Hilarious title and love your post. My husband is an Architect and he's actually working on a project now that is Feng Shui. The client is already particular, so the things he tells me are hilarious. It can get complicated and not so Zen. So when you feel it's all too much, chill your chi and have a chai. ;) Btw, I don't see any social media on your site. I want to pimp all my Monday hoppers, so if you're on Facebook or Twitter, let me know and I'll pimp ya. Thanks for linking up again MSL. I really enjoy you.
ReplyDeleteFeng shui is just way too complicated, especially when your living space's setup seems like it's anti-feng shui
DeleteI an on fb and twitter but I haven't yet figured out how to put the buttons on my blog due to technological ineptitude...fb page is Maple Syrup Land and Twitter is @Hair_Ninja411
Thanks again for having me :) Your blog hop is making Mondays fun!