Monday, 21 January 2013
You need healthcare. Even without the danger of polar bears.
While I’m happy on your behalf that today is Inauguration Day (or is it Re-inauguration Day because it’s Obama’s second term), I do question your government devoting an entire day to car parades, speeches, dinners and fancy-dress balls. You’re the only first world country without universal health care and you’re dangling on the edge of a fiscal cliff (which I will admit I’m not exactly sure what that phrase even means…I’m assuming it has something to do with a shit-ton of debt and both parties spending far too much time arguing and bitching over whose fault it is instead of…I don’t know…FIXING THE PROBLEM???), yet you’re ok with spending eleventy million dollars (note: that may be a slight exaggeration. It’s probably only tenity million. My accountant is on holiday, so I don’t have the figures in front of me. Fine. I have no accountant and can barely do math on a calculator, and only when I’m forced to), on what amounts to a bunch of blah-blah-blah, a (probably overcooked) steak dinner, and some singing by a bunch of celebrities who you know are only performing because chatting with Michelle Obama about her dress and discussing how to sneak past your security team when you have a secret craving for 6 Dairy Queen hot fudge sundaes is the ultimate star-fuck, especially when you’re already a star and usually the fuckee.
Let me tell you, in Canada, when our Prime Minister is sworn in, it’s a 3 minute ceremony followed by beer, poutine and drunken karaoke featuring Celine Dion tunes at the local pub. It’s casual, relaxed and most importantly, costs $1057.44. And the majority of that is for the beer tab. Because we prefer healthcare to expensive pomp and ceremony. Also, it’s too fucking cold up here for ballgowns, which look stupid with thermal underwear. Plus running from polar bears is difficult in high heels. Those assholes are fast, you know.
Anyfuckingways, in the future, you may want to consider making some economic changes to where your hard-earned tax dollars go. Especially when it’s for a party you’re not even invited too, which is almost like shades of high school. Seriously people…you don’t even get a piece of cake out of the deal. I’d bitch if I were you.
Your northern neighbour who has healthcare. And needs it due to all the rampaging polar bears