I see your blog troll and raise you a faked death

Here’s the thing: I blog here and I blog somewhere else (actually 2 somewhere elses, but I don’t really count my tumblr blog because it’s basically a repository for my funny/stupid/gross/fucked-up pic collection so it’s not taking up massive amounts of valuable real estate on my hard drive…more of virtual storage container, full of virtual boxes, some that require eyeball bleach upon opening. And no, I’m not talking about porn, so get your mind out of the fucking gutter, I’m as pure as the pristine snow on the mountaintop. Ok, not really, but I am sneaky enough not to actually store porn on my computer. Not when there’s a billion porn sites you can just click on and no one is the wiser, especially if you clear your browsing history right after. Not that I do any of that. It’s just what I hear from my porn-wise friends. Those dirty perverts.)

Ok, where was I going with this??

Oh, right. Blogging. Not porn.

Anyfuckingway, I have noticed a difference in the quality and quantity of blog drama here as opposed to the other site I blog on and I must say, I’m a little perplexed. And vexed. And have a slight craving for a nice gouda cheese. Which has nothing to do with blogging or drama. I just like cheese a LOT, ok?

But where is all the drama?

Where is the religious fanatic that declares you’re all a bunch of godless sinners who are going straight to hell because of your outrageous blasphemizing? Where is the narcissistic bitch who views all other female bloggers as a threat to her popularity, so she publicly picks a fight, waits for the inevitable response and then immediately cries that she’s the victim while making a series of posts about the horrors of cyber bullying? Where is the asshole that gets cyber-wood by calling all women fat who are larger than a size 2 and then basking in the resulting feminine outrage? Where is the woman who complains about her shitty relationship in excruciating detail and then gets all huffy and pissed off when any of her readers suggest she might be far happier if she ended said-shitty relationship?

Where are all the men posing as hot women? Where are all the women posing as hotter and more interesting women? Where are all con artists with detailed fake backgrounds? The eventually-outed criminals who’s mugshots and criminal records still aren’t enough to make their most loyal sycophants admit those people were REALLY not who they claimed to be? The liars? The constant complainers? The psychos?

And for fucks sakes, where are the faked deaths? Because there is nothing like a death within a close-knit blogging community that turns out to be a huge elaborate hoax, just to get everyone grieving and in shock, which quickly turns to supremely pissed-off outrage, which then turns into a cyber lynch mob, which then causes a rift in the entire community which ends with people giving up blogging completely due to all the stress and bullshit and insane people who fake their own death.

Seriously, this place compared to my other blog place seems so calm and normal it’s creeping me out a little =))