Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Magical WD40, moldy fame and wtf did I just get myself into?

I had a strange dream last night. I was on the Starship Enterprise, but it looked more like a futuristic cruise ship similar to this:

I'm guessing there was some kind of invisible shield around the pool so the water doesn't slop out during deep-space travel

Also, we weren't in space, we were hovering over Granville Street in Vancouver. Suprisingly, none of the pedestrians thought there was anything unusual about a flying cruise ship, so I'm thinking we must have been in the future, where cruise ship fly around city streets with impunity and no one worries getting crushed by a falling lifeboat or some glutton who slips into a sugar coma and falls off the ship after their 6th trip in a row to the chocolate buffet.

Anyways my mission was to find out which people and part of the ship had been secretly taken over by something like the Borg but not the Borg. I had a magical can of WD40 that I ran around spraying on anything I suspected was compromised...the WD40 gave off a blue glow when sprayed on anything infected and also reversed the effects. I was a fucking hero and Captain Picard was so impressed he gave me unlimited access to his personal "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." machine.

Exactly what I was wondering. Because EVERYONE already has access to tea on the Enterprise. Where the hell is my Starfleet medal and a free pass to the planet of DisneyLandWorldUniverse (opening date TBA in 482 years)
In other news, my stupidity has apparently paid off because I was asked if I'd be interested in doing an interview for a  consumer webshow regarding my ignorance in how to deal with mold (FYI: "bleaching the shit out of it" is not the answer and you can read about my dumbassery  here ). I am truly honored that someone would ask me to admit to my domestic failings in a public forum...although given my email reply, which contained the following sentences:

"I was worried about all the potential spores and fuck-knows-what kind of toxins I breathed in but thankfully I remembered that chances are my lungs have an impenetrable coating of hairspray on them from 20+ years of hairstyling, so I figure I'm immune. At least that's what I've been telling myself to keep me from going on WebMD to find out I have mold-induced lung plague."

I would not be surprise if my invitation was revoked. So we'll see.

Finally, I decided to hop on the band wagon and participate in this and if you're feeling up to posting 26 times in April, you should do the same


  1. I can see you having your own reality show dedicated exclusively fighting mold spores from outer space, lol

    Isn't amazing the things we can do on these blogs linking other internet events without having to worry about the stupid abuse team and their nazi gestapo censorship, lol It will take a miracle for me to blog on that site ever again.

    Riding My Own Biography
    NINJA ZX-14 MotoVlog

    1. I know! Why has MTV not yet offered me my own show???? lol

      Oh, it is SO much nicer blogging here...everything actually works like it's supposed to, you can post links, more than one pic at a time....I think it's safe to say I will not be blogging over there again :)