Thursday 2 May 2013

Unorthodox parenting and some other bullshit

When I saw that today's theme for Thursday was unorthodox parenting, I was momentarily stumped trying to come up with something I consider unorthodox. Therein lies the parenting normal is likely someone else's "ohmyfuckinggod, she's raising her kid to be an anarchistic, heathen-y bastard". It's one of those things, to each his own. The core of my parenting belief is to raise a happy, open-minded, well-rounded you do that doesn't matter, as long as it works for your family. Some of the ways I suppose I parent in an unorthodox manner...

Religion: I'm not a fan of organized religion for many reasons, and half the time I'm not sure where my own spiritual beliefs reside, so I'm not about to decide for Spielberg what he should and should not believe. I want him to place his faith in whatever feels right to him, and to understand there's no one right way or one right thing to believe in. Doesn't matter to me if he's an atheist or long as it makes him happy

Body Art: Spielberg really wants a tattoo and once he's 16, it's fine with me. We have discussed that a tattoo is permanent so he needs to choose his art wisely and not get something stupid he'll regret in 10 years. I've offered to pierce his ear on several occasions but he's totally yucked out over poking a hole in his body and says he'll never pierce any body part ever (irony alert: I used to do body piercing and still have several of my own, yet I have a kid who is Captain Conservative when it comes to body jewelery. How the fuck did that happen??)

Social Conscience: I think most everyone tries to raise their kid to have a social conscience, and to be aware of, and involved in their community, local and globally. I might be slightly unorthodox in the sense that I'm all for Spielberg questioning authority, making his voice heard and standing up for what he believes in, even if it has the potential to get him in shit on occasion. In 7th grade he and his friends started a petition at their elementary school, supporting gay marriage to send to our local MLA. This was not a school-sanctioned petition and they collected signatures on their lunch hour...the kids knew this petition had the potential to be controversial and were aware that they could have been asked to stop or gotten in trouble if someone complained or was offended. I asked Spielberg what he would have done in that case...his answer: wait until after school and collect signatures just off of school property, so they technically wouldn't be breaking the rules (clever thinking there, kiddo!).

He's also vehemently opposed to environmental damage caused by tar sands/frakking/corporate polluting, is outraged over Canada allowing China any sort of control to our natural gas pipelines, thinks everyone has the right to universal medical care and a good education, and the gaping chasm between the wealthy and the poor is bad for society as a whole . He's bitched-out that he's too young to vote in the election on May 14th and wants to lobby to have the voting age lowered to 16 because he thinks it's bullshit that he's not allowed to have an official political voice yet. Good thing the protests over clearcut logging in Clayquot Sound happened before he was born, otherwise I'm pretty sure he's be spending his weekends chained to a tree, blockading excavators and calling for bail money. All fine with me, as long as it's something he believes in.

So basically I'm raising a green Karl Marx. With less communism and more tattoos. Works for me :)

Today's ABC's of Swearing has been brought to you by the letter B
Today's inappropriate word or phrase:
Bitchtastic: a cross of sarcastically bitchy and fantastic

 Bonus phrase: Boner Shock: Expressions or actions performed that causes your boner to go into "shock" or go back into the flaccid stage; a sudden or immediate turn-off


  1. Awesome kid!

  2. You two sound like awesome ppl :)

  3. Your son is bitchtastic! I wish my son could meet him. While only 11, they'd get along famously.

    -The Insomniacs Dream

  4. I think it sounds like a parenting WIN in my book.

  5. The same way in which you're raising Spielberg, are the exact same ethics by which I raise Spawn. (the only difference between him and Spielberg, is he can't wait to get his piercings done)
    Obviously being unorthodox can go one of two ways. Your child can either grow up to be a fine young man, with his head firmly screwed on, Like Spielberg, or he could be Spawn...nuff said. :)

  6. Clearly written by one who is bitchtastic. Hey as long as your kid knows who he is, I think you've done everything right.

  7. That is a fracktastic parenting style - I totally agree. Except for the tattoos at 16 - even though I have 3 I wouldn't want my girls getting them at 16. I will probably make them wait until at least 19, like I was. Cause, you know, 19 year olds are SO much more mature than 16 year olds and they won't be stuck with sparkly dolphins for the rest of their lives. ;-)

  8. Spielberg sounds very wise, he is listening to his soul because of you and how you raised him. Good job.