Thursday 30 May 2013

Mental deafness would be nice right about now

Let me preface by saying this: Carly Rae Jepson seems like a very sweet girl and I like that despite her fame, she has so far remained normal and not gone the trainwreck route, a la Amanda Bynes/Lindsey Lohan, nor  is she a serial dater who buys a house next door to her love interest after the second date, and breaks up before the ink is barely dry on the house title, then proceeds to release an album she might as well called "Men Are Dicks and Love Sucks Hairy Donkey Balls" (yes Taylor Swift, I'm talking about you. The breakup songs were amusing up until about 42 boyfriends ago. You may want to find a new kind of lyric fodder...I suggest you join a nunnery so you can avoid men for a while, or maybe the military where you could learn to channel your post-break-up fury by running over drug cartel kingpins with a tank)

Anyfuckingway, while I have nothing against Carly Ray, right now she is the bane of my fucking existance because her catchy tune has burrowed it's way deep into the center of my brain and will not fucking leave

My brain decided to play Call Me Maybe on an endless fucking loop with no off-switch last night. All. Fucking. Night. It was an ear worm of the most horrific kind and when I finally dozed off sometime around dawn, it started up again the minute I woke up. I'm feeling slightly insane today due to lack of sleep and think the lyrics should be changed to "Hey, I just met you/ you're tired and lazy/thanks to my ear worm/you're bat-shit crazy".

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to google DIY lobotomies before I lose what's left of my mind


  1. Your lyrics are by far the better ones. Now if you'll excuse ME I may have pissed myself laughing and need new pants.

    -The Insomniacs Dream

  2. Okay...I'm posting this comment before I even finish reading your post. I got as far as "Carly Rae Jepson", stopped dead, scrolled down, and here I am to tell you that all it took was that name, and now that DAMN SONG is on repeat in my head!! And that's even with Forrest Gump, which has an incredible soundtrack, on my television right now!

    I hate you, Stacey.

    (Not really.)

    Okay. Going back to finish reading your post!

  3. "...I suggest you join ... the military where you could learn to channel your post-break-up fury by running over drug cartel kingpins with a tank"

    Fanfuckingtastic line! Good thing I'm wearing a black shirt today...I can't even see the coffee that spewed forth from my nose all over my chest!

    And I love your lyrics! The only good thing about that DAMN SONG is the ease with which you can screw with the lyrics for your own amusement.

    I suppose I've caught your ear worm now, too.

    I hate you, Stacey.

    (Not really. ☺)

  4. You know what you need? You need to listen to the Nine Inch Nails/Carly Rae mash up. Seriously. I hated getting Call Me Maybe as an earworm, but after hearing it with NIN lyrics, I'm happy to have it pop in once in a while. Enjoy. And you're welcome!

  5. I've read that if you sing the song all the way to the end, it can cure ear worms. Never tried it. God speed, Stacey.

  6. GAH! I didn't even have to play the effin' vid in your story and I have that stupid song stuck between my ears!

    SHAME SHAME SHAME! Now I will have to waste perfectly good Scotch trying to wash it from my brain!

  7. Curse you woman! Now it's going around in my head too!
    Half a bottle of gin will soon sort that out...or is that crack cocaine? I keep getting the two mixed up. :)

  8. This happens to me with Taylor Swift. All. The. Fucking. Time.

    She won't rest until I'm legit crazy.



  9. The fish head song is stuck in my head. I'm not sure which is worse. I do like your lyrics.