Monday 22 April 2013

Stage Moms: Extreme parenting run amok

Have you ever watched that show "Dance Moms"? It's a reality show that's set in a dance studio and focuses on a group of dance students, their moms and their teacher Abby Lee Miller. The girls are absolutely amazing and talented little dancers, but most of the show focuses on their moms, who are some of the most cutthroat, snarky and bitchy women on the planet, and Abby, who the moms can't seem to stand most of the time, especially when one of their precious darlings is passed over for a solo that week. Abby herself is quite the drill sergeant and has no problem verbally napalming anyone stupid enough to invoke her wrath, which makes her highly entertaining as far as I'm concerned. But the moms personify the term stage mom and take it to an entirely new level.

First off I have issues with any parent who tries to push their own dream of being a professional dancer on Broadway onto their kid. Yes, your kid may be hugely talented and claim to want to go to dance class 6 days a week for several hours a day, ensuring they have no life outside of dance, but I'm pretty sure if mommy hadn't been shoving dance down her kid's throat from birth, the kid might actually insist on going to the mall with her friends on a Saturday instead of attending her millionth competition. 

Fracture your foot? No sweetie, let's not listen to the doctor who told you to stay off it for 6 weeks...if you reeeeaaaalllly want to dance after 3 weeks and risk further injury, you can because no one likes a quitter! Now stop crying from the pain, put some ice on it and buck up, little soldier...get out there and win that big trophy. Because in the immortal words of Ricky Bobby, if you ain't first, you're last.

Holy shit, really? I'm all for encouraging your kid to follow their dreams, but not to the detriment of their health and well-being. Kids need time to behave like kids. Stage moms seem to operate under the delusion that their 6 year old wants nothing more than to dress up like a baby prostitute and strut around a stage wearing more makeup and hairspray than I've worn in my whole adult life put together. Any pageant/dance mom I've ever seen says the same fucking thing "Oh, little Sophie LOVES it and it's all her idea to spend every waking moment of her life in rehersals and competitions instead of playing with barbies or riding her bike". 

Yes, because your 6 year old is clearly capable of running her own life.

Get a grip, you're the adult and you're the person in charge of decisions, not your kid. Not only are you pathetic because you're so busy trying to live vicariously through your child that you have absolutely no life of your own, but this whole thing has potential to blow up in your face if your kid comes to a point where they simply lose interest and refuse to dance or wear a tiara or whatever the hell it is you desperately want them to do.

Encourage the hell out of your kid, yes. Cross the line into being one of those"Dance Moms" moms? No

Stage moms earn 5 flaming middle fingers on the Hate-O-Meter. No standing ovation for those assholes.


  1. Stage moms should be charged with child abuse.
    Katie atBankerchick Scratchings

  2. OMG yes! We're having an issue of sort with that right now. My daughter is in dance, and we have always done recreational because frankly, I can't afford competitions. But this year the studio said her class would be recreational "but we'll just have them go to a couple of competitions so they can see what it's like and maybe do it next year."


    This is not recreational. This is a mini line. And every other week I'm told I have to shell out more money for crap I'm going to use once. And the egos of some of the moms who have competition kids are just crazy. After this year, we are so done. Even Andrea says it's not fun anymore. I just keep telling her to just get through this year, and we'll never have to do it again. We'll take Jazzercise or Zumba classes. Eff. This. Clearly, I am not a dance mom. I don't have the patience. Or ego, apparently.

  3. I love your term 'verbally napalming'. I will have to use that today somehow. I hate that show and I have never even seen it.

    1. Don't do it, man. I can't watch it because it makes me physically ill.

  4. I haven't really seen Dance Moms, but I've seen lots of episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras. Those moms are batshit crazy! I remember this one episode where this one mom was basically encouraging a split personality in her daughter by giving her a different name when she performs and making her daughter use it and act differently than she normally does. That mom also cried when the kid didn't perform like she should have.

    The one that probably got me the angriest was when this mom took her 3 year old daughter to get her eyebrows waxed! 3 years old! I know how much that hurts as an adult, and there is no way in heck a 3 year old ever needs her eyebrows waxed. Can you imagine forcing your baby to do that??! I can't believe the stylist consented to do it.