Personally I'm not sure if I go the sign-on-the-side-of-the-road route...it seems a little over the top to me (but I reserve the right to consider this if Speilberg ever stole or vandalized anything, because I believe he'd thing twice about every doing something so stupid again if he's standing outside a store or building with a sign saying "I stole from/vandalized this place and this is my punishment, along with fixing any damage I did. I am truly sorry and will never do anything so stupid again") But the first pic? You bet your ass I'd do that if I caught my 13 year old posting pics of himself drinking on facebook. Kids always have done inappropriate and stupid things...nowadays, thanks to social media, they have a much larger audience. So if my kid wants to act like an asshole on social media? He will not be allowed on social media. Right after he explains on social media why he will no longer be there until he learns that facebook is a privilege, not a right
Last year there was a video that went viral, about a dad that shot his daughter's laptop . The short story is that a 15 year old decided to do some complaining about her parents on her facebook page. Her dad took exception to her public bitching and fired back (pun intended) with an 8 minute video he posted on youtube, where he reads out the post she made, makes his own very effective rebuttal about what she said and reminded her this is not the first time she made inappropriate comments on facebook, which previously resulted in a grounding and her computer privileges revoked. He reaches a conclusion that she didn't learn from her previous punishment, so he decides to make his point in a manner so clear, no one could miss it's meaning. Cue to the death of the laptop. (Seriously, watch the whole video. I was rooting for the dad, who was visibly upset and made some excellent points about teens who expect to have life handed to them on a silver platter).
What do you think of teen shaming?
Some of it is over the top, but I like the concept.
ReplyDeleteThat's how I feel too. I think the dad is the video made some really good points...she did this before and grounding plus taking away her computer for a while didn't work...so what do you do next that's pretty much guaranteed to have an effect that she will never forget, and let her know you're serious?
DeleteI would so do this to my kids if they acted like asses.
ReplyDeleteI like the concept, but I would think they're be a fine line between teaching them a lesson they won't soon forget and forcing them to stand on a street coner with a sign of transgressions for all the world to see. It may work but it also could backfire
DeleteI wouldn't do this to my kids - I say as they're all 8yo and under. But, based on my own experiences, I think public shaming is wrong. This is something that I, personally, couldn't handle. I think it would devastate me to be so humiliated - I'm pretty good at humiliating myself as it is. But, I also think that every person is different. One of my children values respect much more than his siblings. Something like this would backfire on me, if I did it to him - like long-term repercussions of living with shame, like I have. I also get it that parents of teens are sometimes at the end of their ropes and have tried everything else. I'd probably rather have a parent shame their kid out of bullying! than have their kid continue to bully my kid. But then I question if these tactics are really effective. I imagine that sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing...what if it backfires? How far do you go with it? Those are some tough questions you'd have to ask yourself before doing something like this
DeleteThank you!
What a great idea (within reason)! Break the rules and deal with the consequences. A nice life lesson.
ReplyDeleteI think the "within reason" is the key phrase here. While I want my son to know there are consequences for his behaviour and anything you put out on social media is there for all the world to see, I don't want to do something that will take a lifetime of therapy to fix either. It's a tough one
DeleteI think this is another one of those debates that really can't be argued effectively unless you are the parent of the kid. I don't think a parent should publicly shame their kid because it's all the rage and someone else told them to do it. I think the parent should decide, based on each kid whether it's an appropriate punishment or not.
ReplyDeleteBut I totally agree with the first one - you post stupid, illegal shit on Facebook and guess what? That's where your punishment shall lie. (lay? I never get that right.)
The first pic, the fb one, I would totally do...if my son was going to be that stupid, the punishment would definitely fit the crime
DeleteI guess I'm with you, I reserve the right...
ReplyDeleteIt's a fine line...
I told the hubby about your post wondering what he thought on the issue, he said this:
DeleteI would rather shame him, than for him to end up in the system (juvenile hall) if he stole something...
Definitely a fine line...I can see how this could be really effective in the right circumstance. And like your hubby said, I'd much rather embarrass my kid then be bailing him out of jail
DeleteYou better fucking believe I'd shame my boys. If you can act like an ass in public, then you can own up to it in public.
ReplyDeleteI think even the threat of this punishment would make my kid think twice
DeleteIn short: No, because I believe you should treat your children how you'd like to be treated and I'd hate for someone to 'shame' me in that way (plus I'm not convinced that it would work, other than to alienate the child from their parents further)
ReplyDeleteThere's definitely that side of the argument...I know a few kids that if you tried to shame them, they'd turn around and just do something worse
DeleteDifficult to say how I feel about it; I probably am inclined not to be in favor of it, but yet at the same time it might be the very tool that a teen needs to get back on a straighter and narrower path. Not sure if my now 24 y/o son would have benefitted from any of his past behavior if I had shamed in for any of it in a public forum. Interesting topic to discuss with him though.
ReplyDeletebetty
I know parents who have been at their wits end with their teens because grounding hasn't worked, taking away privileges hasn't worked...I think you might get to that point and be willing to try just about anything
DeleteI love that first one but I think the others are a little excessive.
ReplyDeleteI think shaming your children by the roadside, will probably induce rage, rather than shame or embarrassment. But in saying that, how frustrated were these parents to go to those length in the first place?
Yeah, that's kinda what I'm thinking too, but I would likely do the first one...yep, I was wondering that too, those parents are likely at the end of their rope
DeleteI'm not a fan, personally. I think it would cause more resentment than necessary and I'd much rather ground or do something that required a lot of time/effort. For example, my middle son was not turning in homework so I made him do research about the impact of homework on academic success. I guess that is what research librarians do to punish their kids. :P
ReplyDeleteHa! That's a perfect punishment!!
DeleteI won't go into the details, but my mom taught me a valuable lesson when I was 8 years old. So what my mom did in terms of punishment in front of all my friends worked with me.
ReplyDeleteRiding My Own Biography
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I think maybe sometimes you have to do something that will shock kids into behaving...glad what your mom did worked on you!
DeleteIt is true, some are excessive and over the top... BUT, I think, if done properly, it can be effective.
ReplyDeleteI am secretly yearning for the day I can shame one of my boys. LOL
There is a story out about a mom sending her kids to school in homemade "shaming" shirts and the school district flipped. Personally, I think its a great punishment.
Yep, that's what I'm thinking too :)
DeleteI agree, I think it depends on the kid and the circumstance
ReplyDelete