Thursday, 14 March 2013

Teen Shaming. Would you do this?

Teen shaming has been in the news a lot in the last couple years. It's where parents are reacting to their teen's bad behaviour by giving them a dose of public humiliation. The controversy in this is advocates say it's creative parenting and serves an an effective punishment and deterrent for continued bad behaviour...the opposition says it's a form of bullying and cruel.














Personally I'm not sure if I go the sign-on-the-side-of-the-road route...it seems a little over the top to me (but I reserve the right to consider this if Speilberg ever stole or vandalized anything, because I believe he'd thing twice about every doing something so stupid again if he's standing outside a store or building with a sign saying "I stole from/vandalized this place and this is my punishment, along with fixing any damage I did. I am truly sorry and will never do anything so stupid again")  But the first pic? You bet your ass I'd do that if I caught my 13 year old posting pics of himself drinking on facebook. Kids always have done inappropriate and stupid things...nowadays, thanks to social media, they have a much larger audience. So if my kid wants to act like an asshole on social media? He will not be allowed on social media. Right after he explains on social media why he will no longer be there until he learns that facebook is a privilege, not a right

Last year there was a video that went viral, about a dad that shot his daughter's laptop . The short story is that a 15 year old decided to do some complaining about her parents on her facebook page. Her dad took exception to her public bitching and fired back (pun intended) with an 8 minute video he posted on youtube, where he reads out the post she made, makes his own very effective rebuttal about what she said and reminded her this is not the first time she made inappropriate comments on facebook, which previously resulted in a grounding and her computer privileges revoked. He reaches a conclusion that she didn't learn from her previous punishment, so he decides to make his point in a manner so clear, no one could miss it's meaning. Cue to the death of the laptop. (Seriously, watch the whole video. I was rooting for the dad, who was visibly upset and made some excellent points about teens who expect to have life handed to them on a silver platter).



What do you think of teen shaming?


29 comments:

  1. Some of it is over the top, but I like the concept.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's how I feel too. I think the dad is the video made some really good points...she did this before and grounding plus taking away her computer for a while didn't work...so what do you do next that's pretty much guaranteed to have an effect that she will never forget, and let her know you're serious?

      Delete
  2. I would so do this to my kids if they acted like asses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the concept, but I would think they're be a fine line between teaching them a lesson they won't soon forget and forcing them to stand on a street coner with a sign of transgressions for all the world to see. It may work but it also could backfire

      Delete
  3. I wouldn't do this to my kids - I say as they're all 8yo and under. But, based on my own experiences, I think public shaming is wrong. This is something that I, personally, couldn't handle. I think it would devastate me to be so humiliated - I'm pretty good at humiliating myself as it is. But, I also think that every person is different. One of my children values respect much more than his siblings. Something like this would backfire on me, if I did it to him - like long-term repercussions of living with shame, like I have. I also get it that parents of teens are sometimes at the end of their ropes and have tried everything else. I'd probably rather have a parent shame their kid out of bullying! than have their kid continue to bully my kid. But then I question if these tactics are really effective. I imagine that sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the thing...what if it backfires? How far do you go with it? Those are some tough questions you'd have to ask yourself before doing something like this

      Thank you!

      Delete
  4. What a great idea (within reason)! Break the rules and deal with the consequences. A nice life lesson.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the "within reason" is the key phrase here. While I want my son to know there are consequences for his behaviour and anything you put out on social media is there for all the world to see, I don't want to do something that will take a lifetime of therapy to fix either. It's a tough one

      Delete
  5. I think this is another one of those debates that really can't be argued effectively unless you are the parent of the kid. I don't think a parent should publicly shame their kid because it's all the rage and someone else told them to do it. I think the parent should decide, based on each kid whether it's an appropriate punishment or not.

    But I totally agree with the first one - you post stupid, illegal shit on Facebook and guess what? That's where your punishment shall lie. (lay? I never get that right.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first pic, the fb one, I would totally do...if my son was going to be that stupid, the punishment would definitely fit the crime

      Delete
  6. I guess I'm with you, I reserve the right...

    It's a fine line...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I told the hubby about your post wondering what he thought on the issue, he said this:
      I would rather shame him, than for him to end up in the system (juvenile hall) if he stole something...

      Delete
    2. Definitely a fine line...I can see how this could be really effective in the right circumstance. And like your hubby said, I'd much rather embarrass my kid then be bailing him out of jail

      Delete
  7. You better fucking believe I'd shame my boys. If you can act like an ass in public, then you can own up to it in public.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think even the threat of this punishment would make my kid think twice

      Delete
  8. In short: No, because I believe you should treat your children how you'd like to be treated and I'd hate for someone to 'shame' me in that way (plus I'm not convinced that it would work, other than to alienate the child from their parents further)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's definitely that side of the argument...I know a few kids that if you tried to shame them, they'd turn around and just do something worse

      Delete
  9. You know your own kid and what would work for him/her, and it also depends on what they did. I think for my own kids, differently consequences would be more effective than public shaming...but in a case like the first photo, it's a perfect consequence to the kid's poor decision.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, I think it depends on the kid and the circumstance

      Delete
  10. Difficult to say how I feel about it; I probably am inclined not to be in favor of it, but yet at the same time it might be the very tool that a teen needs to get back on a straighter and narrower path. Not sure if my now 24 y/o son would have benefitted from any of his past behavior if I had shamed in for any of it in a public forum. Interesting topic to discuss with him though.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know parents who have been at their wits end with their teens because grounding hasn't worked, taking away privileges hasn't worked...I think you might get to that point and be willing to try just about anything

      Delete
  11. I love that first one but I think the others are a little excessive.
    I think shaming your children by the roadside, will probably induce rage, rather than shame or embarrassment. But in saying that, how frustrated were these parents to go to those length in the first place?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that's kinda what I'm thinking too, but I would likely do the first one...yep, I was wondering that too, those parents are likely at the end of their rope

      Delete
  12. I'm not a fan, personally. I think it would cause more resentment than necessary and I'd much rather ground or do something that required a lot of time/effort. For example, my middle son was not turning in homework so I made him do research about the impact of homework on academic success. I guess that is what research librarians do to punish their kids. :P

    ReplyDelete
  13. I won't go into the details, but my mom taught me a valuable lesson when I was 8 years old. So what my mom did in terms of punishment in front of all my friends worked with me.

    Riding My Own Biography
    NINJA ZX-14 MotoVlog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think maybe sometimes you have to do something that will shock kids into behaving...glad what your mom did worked on you!

      Delete
  14. It is true, some are excessive and over the top... BUT, I think, if done properly, it can be effective.

    I am secretly yearning for the day I can shame one of my boys. LOL

    There is a story out about a mom sending her kids to school in homemade "shaming" shirts and the school district flipped. Personally, I think its a great punishment.

    ReplyDelete