Wednesday, 27 March 2013
Proof that Canadians are secretly assholes
We Canadians have a reputation for being polite and non-confrontational. The rest of the world looks at Canada and thinks "Awwww, Canadians are so damn nice and non-threatening...they're like vanilla pudding in a world of Sriracha Hot Sauce and they would never do anything untoward to their global neighbours"
If you're a yoga pants fan (and what woman isn't?), you may have heard the shocking news that because of a batch of too-sheer black yoga pants made by Canadian yogawear company Lululemon, there will be a worldwide black yoga pant shortage, explained here.
It's ok. Take a minute to absorb that and then calm the fuck down.
According to the article, yoga pant pandamonium has begun and people are encouraged to not panic and start yoga pant rationing immediately
What you don't know is this: the yoga pants shortage is a lie. Oh, there's plenty of Lululemon yoga pants...but Canada has decided to hoard them, for no reason other than WE CAN. We are amused by the ensuing yoga pant chaos and are currently reveling in our butt-lifting, stretchy, comfortable glory, while we watch the rest of the world freak out and go pantsless. Some people just want to watch the world burn. In Canada, we prefer to watch the world descend into yoga-pants-shortage madness.