Monday, 6 May 2013


Yesterday Spielberg and I found THE COOLEST store downtown. Can't remember what it's called but it's chock-full of awesome nostalgia items like that pink popcorn you get at the circus, Star Wars lunch boxes and KISS bobbleheads. It was like revisiting my childhood and I think Spielberg was getting embarassed because I kept squealing and shrieking "Ohmygod, look at that!!! I remember FunDip!!!. However, once I found The Item, I was not the only person having a fucking delight-induced stroke. Looky, looky what we found...

It's The Old Man from The Christmas Story. With his leg lamp. In bobblehead form. Holy fucking fartmonkeys, this is the best day EVER!
Fraa-geee-lay. That must be Italian

This was enough to make my day. But then the store owner made my fucking year by telling me not only did he fashion a leg lamp last Xmas for his window display that had many people crawling into the display to take a picture with The Holy Leg Lamp, but he's thinking of making leg lamps to sell with the bunch of extra manniquin legs he has in his basement (normally I would have questioned why anyone had a basement full of  fucking legs, but at that point I was beyond caring about potential serial killers with a leg fetish). I politely suggested he put me on a list of leg lamp buyers, telling him I'd be pleased to buy one. Except it was possibly more like I put him in a headlock and screamed "If you don't sell me a motherfucking leg lamp, I will die of sadness and come back to haunt the fuck out of you, so PLEASE put me at the top of the fucking leg lamp buyer list RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!"

I may have gotten a little excited there.

Word/Phrase of the day:

Furvert: a pervert with a fetish for furries (if you don't know what furries are, you really need to google it. Bring brain bleach.)

Farticles: the particles of fart that remain in the atmosphere after a fart has been released


  1. If you don't know what a furry is, please forget you ever heard of it and remain innocent for the rest of time.

    1. I have no idea what a furry is and I hate being out of the loop so I'm googling it now. I'll be right back...Oh. Let's just say that there's now some very weird shit on my browser history.

  2. Jenn, Lori, we found another one obsessed with this movie!

    He has a basement full of legs? And you didn't fucking question this!

    (You're a day ahead, you overachiever)

    -The Insomniacs Dream

  3. That sounds like the best store ever. You need to find out the name so I can ask the wife to take a road trip there. Is it not normal to have a basement full of mannequin parts?

  4. Living with 2 teenage boys, the air in my house is constantly contaminated with farticles. Oh, and I won a leg lamp last year at a white elephant party.

  5. Brain bleach is right. :)

    That sounds like a fun store.

  6. The fact that this man has a bunch on mannequin legs in his basement makes him my hero. Seriously... I've got a pair of mannequin arms, some hands, a one armed mannequin child, a dog and a head... But, alas, no legs.

    In other news, I swear I'm not a serial killer... Pinkie swear. So you know it's legit!!



  7. I am afraid to google furries, and sadly, I don't know the lamp, but my I wouldn't mind having the KISS bobble heads.


  8. I have given you the Liebster Award for bloggers with less than 200 people! Visit my blog so you know what to do! I have linked your blog to mine. :) I found you on A to Z!

  9. Yes. Definitely get a leg lamp. That is very cool. Do you have a front window to display this lamp in all of it's glory?

  10. That is fucking awesome! I've been watching Kolchak the Night Stalker on Netflix and it took me a pathetic amount of time to realize he was the same dude as the dad. I bet people would buy those mannequin legs. Are you going to post a picture when you have it up in your window?

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse