Oh....fuuuuuuuuuuuudge

Yesterday Spielberg and I found THE COOLEST store downtown. Can't remember what it's called but it's chock-full of awesome nostalgia items like that pink popcorn you get at the circus, Star Wars lunch boxes and KISS bobbleheads. It was like revisiting my childhood and I think Spielberg was getting embarassed because I kept squealing and shrieking "Ohmygod, look at that!!! I remember FunDip!!!. However, once I found The Item, I was not the only person having a fucking delight-induced stroke. Looky, looky what we found...

It's The Old Man from The Christmas Story. With his leg lamp. In bobblehead form. Holy fucking fartmonkeys, this is the best day EVER!

Fraa-geee-lay. That must be Italian

This was enough to make my day. But then the store owner made my fucking year by telling me not only did he fashion a leg lamp last Xmas for his window display that had many people crawling into the display to take a picture with The Holy Leg Lamp, but he's thinking of making leg lamps to sell with the bunch of extra manniquin legs he has in his basement (normally I would have questioned why anyone had a basement full of  fucking legs, but at that point I was beyond caring about potential serial killers with a leg fetish). I politely suggested he put me on a list of leg lamp buyers, telling him I'd be pleased to buy one. Except it was possibly more like I put him in a headlock and screamed "If you don't sell me a motherfucking leg lamp, I will die of sadness and come back to haunt the fuck out of you, so PLEASE put me at the top of the fucking leg lamp buyer list RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!"

I may have gotten a little excited there.

Word/Phrase of the day:

Furvert: a pervert with a fetish for furries (if you don't know what furries are, you really need to google it. Bring brain bleach.)

Farticles: the particles of fart that remain in the atmosphere after a fart has been released