Xmas rant: My ears are bleeding

(Reposted from my other blog. Minus the f-bombs)

I’m almost to the point of stabbing myself in the eardrums at work, thanks to the all-day, everyday Xmas music that my boss insists we have playing for the entire month of December. I truly despise Xmas music partly because it’s the same 43 songs played in mind-numbing repetition. What’s even worse is hearing the different versions of same song at least 5 times an hour…Jessica Simpson, if I have to listen to your warbly, fingernails-on-a-chalkboard rendition of “I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” one more time, I will be grabbing you by your shitty synthetic blonde hair extensions and strangling you with them until your eyeballs pop out of your vacant head.

And speaking of that song, what kind of Xmas message is it sending to children? Oooo…I saw mommy whoring herself out for presents with a fat old man with a cookie addiction. Yes Virginia…cheating on daddy is the REAL reason for the season. And what the hell is with these women singers who lament that all they want for Xmas is a man? Pull up your big-girl panties and revel in your independence, you needy bitch…you’re making Gloria Steinam cry.

Also:

Dogs barking Jingle Bells. Where the hell is the SPCA when you need them?

Alvin and the Chipmunks squeaking whatever  that song is that you can’t understand because all you can here is glorified vermin-squeak. Someone call an exterminator already

Boney M. Need to mainline the rum punch and smoke a mountain of the ganga to tune this shit out

At this point I’m so desperate, I’d even listen to that bullshit elevator music The Coffeehouse station plays

Dec 27^th cannot get here fast enough